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剑桥雅思4 test 4大作文考官范文解析 student behavior学生行为问题 这篇雅思写作大作文是 […]

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剑桥雅思4 test 4大作文考官范文解析 student behavior学生行为问题

这篇雅思写作大作文是典型的报告类题目,要求大家探讨学校中学生不良行为的原因和解决方案。通常来说,报告类文章的结构十分容易安排。如果采用四段式的话,可以用一段话解析原因,一段话提供解决方案。而如果采用五段式的话,则可以用两段来阐述原因或解决方案。具体的段落安排还要看大家的所能想到的论点。

点击查看其他考官范文分析:剑桥雅思考官范文最全总结

剑桥雅思4 test 4大作文题目

In many countries school have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

剑桥雅思4 test 4大作文考官范文

Poor student behaviour seems to be an increasingly widespread problem and I think that modern lifestyles are probably responsible for this.

In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller with fewer children. These children are often spoilt, not in terms of love and attention because working parents do not have the time for this, but in more material ways. They are allowed to have whatever they want, regardless of price, and to behave as they please. This means that the children grow up without consideration for others and without any understanding of where their standard of living comes from.

When they get to school age they have not learnt any self-control or discipline. They have less respect for their teachers and refuse to obey school rules in the way that their parents did.

Teachers continually complain about this problem and measures should be taken to combat the situation. But I think the solution to the problem lies with the families, who need to be more aware of the future consequences of spoiling their children. If they could raise them to be considerate of others and to be social, responsible individuals, the whole community would benefit.

Perhaps parenting classes are needed to help them to do this, and high-quality nursery schools could be established that would support families more in terms of raising the next generation. The government should fund this kind of parental support, because this is no longer a problem for individual families, but for society as a whole.

剑桥雅思4 test 4考官范文解析

Task Response

1. 文章全面回答了题目中的问题。指出是父母对孩子的娇惯导致了这一问题,并提出相应的解决方案,包括让父母意识到这种方式可能导致的后果,提供父母课程,建立高标准的托儿所等。

2. 对每个观点进行了详细的阐述。父母溺爱方面具体指出物质上的娇纵会导致孩子什么样的心态,并如何影响他们在学校中的表现。这里有两点值得我们学习:一是孩子心态的具体化,而不要只是文章来自老烤鸭雅思说溺爱会导致任性就结束了;二是最后落脚到对学校行为的影响,呼应题目。而许多同学都会忽视这一点,只说到对孩子影响不好就结束了。解决方案方面也都是围绕父母这边展开,没有提及不相关的内容。

Coherence and Cohesion

1. 文章分段比较合理。第一段介绍主题,第二段将父母溺爱对孩子的影响,第三段讲这种影响会对孩子在学校的行为。第四段的开头承接上文,指出父母自身应该怎么做。最后一段讲解父母之外的主体应该如何。

2. 这篇文章主要采用逻辑连接的方法,真正的连接词反而出现的比较少。所谓逻辑连接,即句子与句子之间没有内容上的跳跃。再简单点说就是下一句话的主语一定在上一句话中出现过。文章层层推进,指代使用合理,读起来很顺畅。

Lexical Resource

文章用词十分灵活。不过我们通篇看起来,其实里面也没有出现特别复杂的词汇。可见雅思写作对词汇一方面的要求主要是词汇的多样性和恰当性,而非复杂性。

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

1. 作为雅思官方给出的范文,这篇文章肯定不存在任何语法错误。

2. 句子结构极其多样。这篇文章除了常见的从句结构之外,非常喜欢使用插入语。如第二自然段的not in terms of… but…,甚至其中还加入了原因状语从句。所以说雅思写作的语法评分并不是句子越复杂越好,而是跟词汇一样,越多样越好。

高分词汇短语总结

increasingly widespread problem 越来越普遍的问题。

be probably responsible for … 对某事负责。注意其中probably的使用来减弱语气。

be spoilt 被宠坏了

in material ways 物质方面

behave as they please 想怎么做就怎么做,与前面的have whatever they want对应

self-control 自控

obey rules 遵守规则。rule可以与discipline同义替换

combat this situation 对抗/解决这一问题

the solution lies with/in 解决方案在…身上

be considerate of others 为他人着想

parenting class 照顾孩子的课程

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