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剑桥雅思4 test 2大作文考官范文解析 happiness幸福 这篇雅思写作大作文要求大家探讨幸福为什么很 […]

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剑桥雅思4 test 2大作文考官范文解析 happiness幸福

这篇雅思写作大作文要求大家探讨幸福为什么很难定义,以及实现幸福的重要因素,可以被归为报告类的雅思题目。按照常规的写作方法,我们可以采用四段式或者五段式的结构。第一段同义改写题目,并明确提出自己的观点;第二段详细说明难以定义的原因;接下来用一个自然段或者两个自然段阐述重要因素;最后一段结尾。

但这篇考官范文却没有采用以上结构,而是很流畅很自然的按照自己的想法去论述。这就告诉我们要想在雅思写作中得高分,固定的结构或者套路并不是必须的。只要论述充分,结构合理即可。

点击查看其他考官范文分析:剑桥雅思考官范文最全总结

剑桥雅思4 test 2大作文题目

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

剑桥雅思4 test 2大作文考官范文

Happiness is very difficult to define, because it means so many different things to different people. While some people link happiness to wealth and material success, others think it lies in emotions and loving personal relationships. Yet others think that spiritual paths, rather than either the material world or relationships with people, are the only way to true happiness.

Because people interpret happiness for themselves in so many different ways, it is difficult to give any definition that is true for everyone. However, this article is from Laokaoya website, if there are different kinds of happiness for different individuals then the first step in achieving it would be to have a degree of self-knowledge. A person needs to know who he or she is before being able to know what it is that makes him or her happy.

Of course, factors such as loving relationships, good health, the skills to earn a living and a peaceful environment all contribute to our happiness too. But this does not mean that people without these conditions cannot be happy.

Overall, I think an ability to keep clear perspectives in life is a more essential factor in achieving happiness. By that I mean an ability to have a clear sense of what is important in our lives (the welfare of our families, the quality of our relationships, making other people happy, etc.) and what is not (a problem at work, getting annoyed about trivial things, etc.).

Like self-awareness, this is also very difficult to achieve, but I think these are the two factors that may be the most important for achieving happiness.

剑桥雅思4 test 2考官范文解析

Task Response

1. 文章全面回答了题目中的问题。指出幸福之所以很难定义是因为它对每个人都意味着不同的东西。要实现幸福最关键的是拥有自我认知和权衡能力。

2. 对每个观点进行了详细的阐述。具体举例幸福对不同人所意味的东西,如物质、精神、爱与情感;从逻辑上说明为什么自我认知和权衡能力对幸福很重要。中间还插入了让步段。

Coherence and Cohesion

1. 文章分段比较合理。第一自然段回答幸福为什么重要。第二自然段引出自我认知。第三自然段让步论述。第四自然段强调权衡能力。最后一段总结全文。

2. 十分自然的使用多重链接手段。第一自然段就出现了however, while, yet等连接词。但更为重要的是,文章十分恰当的使用了各种指代(it, this, that),并且在切换段落的时候有句子充当承上启下的作用(提及上一段内容的同时开启下一段),整体过度非常平顺。

Lexical Resource

文章用词十分灵活,比如第二段开头作者就用了interpret,而没有使用我们更加熟悉的explain。类似的例子还有第四段的clear perspectives,essential等。通过这些词汇我们可以看出,雅思写作其实并不要求使用很生僻的单词,关键在于要能恰如其分的表达句子含义。

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

1. 作为雅思官方给出的范文,这篇文章肯定不存在任何语法错误。

2. 句子结构极其多样。除了我们比较熟悉的原因状语从句,宾语从句,条件状语从句等,文中还出现了rather than引导的插入语,非谓语动词充当表语,双重否定等。

高分词汇短语总结

wealth and material success 财富与物质上的成功

… lies in … 存在于…之中

interpret happiness 解读幸福

more essential factor 更为基本的因素

the welfare of our families 家庭的安全健康

annoyed about trivial things 为微不足道的事情而困扰

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