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剑桥雅思9 test 3大作文考官范文解析 提升公共健康的最佳方式 这篇雅思写作大作文要求大家讨论提升公共健康 […]

剑桥雅思9 test 3大作文考官范文解析 提升公共健康的最佳方式



剑桥雅思9 test 3大作文题目

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

剑桥雅思9 test 3大作文考官范文

A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend. One possible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more active lifestyle.

Advocates of this believe that today’s sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sport is not universal, and additional facilities might attract the already fit, not those who most need them. Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.

As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these contributions to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to the bus stop than the car.

In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.

剑桥雅思9 test 3考官范文解析

Task Response

1. 文章全面回答了题目中的问题。第一段改写题目,但并没有表明自己的观点,也没有提到另一方的意见;第二段论述运动设施的便利性;第三段和第四段分别说明其他的措施;最后一段总结自己的看法

2. 文章对各个论点进行了论证。首先指出运动设施确实可以改变当今缺乏运动的生活方式。但随后又指出这种手段的缺陷所在-不适合那些本来就不爱运动的人。最后说明税收和公共交通等措施都可以改善这一情况。

Coherence and Cohesion

1. 文章整体逻辑结构完整。除了开头和结尾是固定的套路之外,第二段讨论一种观点;第三段指出这种观点的缺陷所在,并提出弥补方式;第四段提出其他解决方案。文章推进自然流畅。

2. 除了在段落与段落之间的使用连接词之外,这篇文章主要采用逻辑连接的方式。每一句话的开头都是上个句子中出现过的成分,从而使文章的推进流畅自然。

Lexical Resource


Grammatical Range and Accuracy

1. 作为雅思官方给出的范文,这篇文章肯定不存在任何语法错误。

2. 这篇文章的作者非常擅长使用各种各样的非谓语动词来充当句子成分。这种做法可以避免从句过多所带来的臃肿感,而且能够增加句子的多样性。

剑桥雅思9 test 3高分词汇短语总结

conflicting views 互相冲突的观点

tackle v. 处理,解决

more active lifestyle 更为运动的生活方式

sedentary lifestyle 缺乏运动的生活方式

easy-to-reach 触手可及的

collapse in front of a screen 瘫倒在屏幕前

cater for 适合

tax penalty 税收惩罚

excessive consumption 过度消费

desired results 理想的结果


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