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剑桥雅思10 Test 1写作Task 2考官范文解析 惩罚孩子是否必要 这篇雅思写作大作文要求大家讨论在教导 […]

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剑桥雅思10 Test 1写作Task 2考官范文解析 惩罚孩子是否必要

这篇雅思写作大作文要求大家讨论在教导孩子识别对错的时候惩罚是否必要。题目独出心裁的地方在于在常规的同意与否之外,又询问大家具体的惩罚措施,因此整体的行文结构上跟我们之前写的会有区别。虽然仍然可以采用四段式或者五段式的结构,但其中要单独辟出一段来进行具体的措施的说明。下面让我们看看考官是如何解决这一问题的。

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剑桥雅思10 test 1写作Task 2题目

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

剑桥雅思10 test 1写作Task 2考官范文

One important stage in a child’s growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is linked to the ability to tell right from wrong. This skill comes with time and good parenting, and my firm conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play in this. Therefore I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement.

To some extent, the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is being punished. Once the age of reason is reached, however, a child can be rewarded for good behaviour and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents.

To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modeling in their own behavior. After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones – an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel.

Rather, teachers and parents can use a variety of methods to discipline their young charges, such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out. Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologize to someone they have hurt. In these ways, responsibility is developed in the children, which leads to much better future behaviour than does punishment.

剑桥雅思10 test 1写作Task 2考官范文解析

Task Response

1. 文章全面回答了题目中的问题。第一段改写题目,指出学习对错的重要性,同时表明自己不同意题目中所给观点的立场;第二段给出不同意惩罚的原因;第三段说明不应该用什么样的惩罚;最后一段再说哪种惩罚方式比价有效。

2. 文章对各个论点进行了论证。第二段通过说明惩罚太小孩子没有效果,而孩子年纪大之后又有更好的其他方式来反驳题目观点。第三段指出哪怕惩罚有必要,也不应该采用体罚的方式,它会给孩子带来不好的影响。最后一段给出比较好的惩罚方式,并说明它们具体好在哪里。

需要注意的是,这篇文章并没有我们习惯的结尾段。可以见在这种报告类题目的写作中(需要提供解决方案),结尾并不是必须的。

Coherence and Cohesion

1. 文章整体逻辑结构完整。一开始就否定惩罚的价值,随后说明哪怕真的有必要,也不应采用体罚,这样自然而然的就过渡到最后一段,究竟什么样的惩罚方式比较好。

2. 这篇文章中连接词和逻辑连接(一句话的开头出现上一句的成分)出现的频率几乎相当。比如第一段中就有this skill和therefore这种存在。

Lexical Resource

文章用词十分灵活,涉及范围也很广。具体内容可以参考下面“高分词汇短语”板块。

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

1. 作为雅思官方给出的范文,这篇文章肯定不存在任何语法错误。

2. 这篇文章作者通过使用从句和各种短语结构来实现语法结构多样性的目标。从句方面出现了非限定性定语从句,表语从句,原因状语从句,时间状语从句,条件状语从句,限定性定语从句等。

剑桥雅思10 test 1写作Task 2高分词汇短语总结

conscience n. 良知,良心。

parenting n. 养育,扶养,教养。

conviction n. 坚信。

have a role to play in … 在某事中有作用

infant n. 婴儿。

harsh adj. 严厉的。

entail v. 涉及,牵涉。

provide good role modeling 树立良好的榜样

sanction n. 惩罚。

discipline v. 管教。

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